My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

"We interrupt this program for an important announcement..."

Well, I guess I have a bit of an announcement to make. I decided to create a new blog. I tend to like to tell loooong stories and this blog doesn't always work well for those occasions. I decided to save this blog as the Bitch and Moan blog. LOL.

So, the new blog is named Onion Dribbles. It's been coming for a while, but this childhood neighborhood story thing that I posted the past few days just pushed it over the edge. The story didn't flow as well being all chopped up into parts. It was...kind of disjointed and a pain in the ass to read. LOL. So I deleted it all (no Kimmy, you haven't gone crazy) and re-posted it as my first story on Onion Dribbles. This way, if your in the mood to read a long story of whatever may tumble out of my head (or my ass depending on the critic) then Onion Dribbles is the place for you!

There is one caveat though. I still only have the same amount of time/energy/bitching potential etc. so I may elect to post a story on the other blog rather than post something on this one. But I think it will work out better in the long run.

Just do me a favor. If you read it give me some creative feedback. If it's good/bad/sucks the big one then let me know. I'm really interested in what people think of the writing quality of the story. And...just like I have hopes for this blog (which is to make people think about things) my
hopes for the other blog is that you'll be entertained from a birds eye (or bird brained) view of my life.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Ultimate Recycling

Every once in a while something really strange and unexplainable happens to me. Sometimes it's kind of supernatural, sometimes it's more like a "religious experience" and other times I just don't know what category to put it in. For example, one morning not that long ago NPR had a story on the anniversary of the liberation of one of the Nazi concentration camps. I was still half asleep and hit the snooze button, but then I started "dreaming". I was a young girl, about 12 or 13 years old and I was getting off a train with a lot of other women and girls. A woman that I knew to be my mother was being led away by two soldiers and I knew I was never going to see her again. My little sister who was about 7, was pulled out of line by another soldier and when I went to go to her a soldier off to my left let the leash out on a big German Shepard who lunged at me to keep me from going to her. There was all this chaos and noise, and women were being sorted out into different groups and sections. I was separated from my sister. I "remember" lying on a bare wood planked "bed" and looking down at this pile of - what was supposed to be food- and saying to some person sitting next to me that I wasn't going to eat that garbage. They asked me if they could have mine and I said yes and rolled over. I started to cry in the "dream" and woke up sobbing. For a few minutes I could "remember" everything.
I knew that my little sister had been named after my Aunt - who was my favorite Aunt. I knew we were born near the border of France. I knew that my father was missing and that we were not as well off financially as my mother wanted everyone to believe we were. I knew we were there because somebody had turned us in. I knew that my mother was put to death shortly after we arrived at the camp and that I was put into a labor pool. I knew that my little sister was put into one of the brothels. I woke up with the feel of that camp all over me. I could "remember" how it felt to go through each day and just do what you had to do. Thinking that if you didn't die there, then one day it would all come to an end. But not knowing which would happen first.

I had a terrible time shaking off that "dream" and that morning I couldn't stop crying. I ended up calling Queen Snarfetta at work because I had to talk to somebody about it.
I don't know what to make of that experience. I don't know what to think.
It's not the first time something like that has happened to me, but it was the strongest. I was so upset that I stayed home from my first class that morning. It took a few weeks to stop thinking about it all.

I have always been drawn to the Jewish faith. I have thought about converting many times over the years and I really don't know why. I have a Mezuzah inside my doorpost (although I put it on wrong. It's not diagonal, it's vertical, and I put it on with Gorilla glue and can't take it off now) and a Menorah on my bookshelf that I bought several years ago.
I have always thought that if reincarnation were true, then we would have more "evidence" to that effect. Yet, I don't rule it out entirely - because I don't have those kinds of answers. I don't know what to think sometimes.

Maybe it was just a dream...and maybe it wasn't.
What do you think?

Leftover Ham Dinner

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Gotta laugh about it....

PMS week, ya'll....( jes warnin' ya....)

Well, I took the easy way out an just added Kimmy land to my miniscule link list. I was trying to avoid that because I felt bad about leaving out everyone else, but BubbaNukie's recent instability, coupled with my computer challenged brain has made it necessary...
So, I'll just piggy back around from her blog site....

So, I see I'm not the only one who is frustrated these days. White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan has finally thrown in the towel. Can't say I blame him, that whole speech about the Valerie Plume retribution leak not being a "real leak"...was a little pathetic even for the old Republican Spin Doctor himself.
Maybe he can save a shred of his credibility now.
I don't believe the bullshit their trying to spread about Karl Rove though....that slimy little toad monster will still have wads and wads of power and influence in the gray tinted Bushwacked White House.
Man, it's bad when the blow job guy looks good....come to think of it, he wasn't so bad after all, was he? Too bad his wife came across like such a bitch.

Well, gas prices have tricked over the $3.00 per gallon mark. On my way into job #2 I saw $3.19 per gallon. Bastards. Fucking evil greedy bastards! I say it's high time that all utility and power companies became not-for-profit! WTF! They are getting millions of tax breaks and billions of profit to fuck us up the ass royally, and that's a lot of shit in my book. Hurricanes my ass. Greed. Just plain old greed.

On the up side I have to say I loved FS5 post about the Wal-O-Caust campaign. No disrespect to the Holocaust victims, but man, there is some justification there! Personally, the Hamster refuses to shop there. I won't support that shit. I'll pay a little more or buy a little less.
Say, did you know that Wal-O-Caust has 6 family members in the World's Billionaire List? Each with a total of about $15-20 Billion in personal fortunes to their name. That's pretty damn good considering most of their employees can qualify for Medicaid....even some of the full-time workers. Nice. Very Nice.

So, King George is finding out it isn't so easy to keep the serf's down. Those Mexican's are really rallying for their rights as illegal alien citizens aren't they? Too bad I can't buy the fruit picker argument - especially when I know they are mainly working in textile mills, construction jobs, cleaning companies and furniture manufacturing jobs. The only problem is once they get "legal" and start demanding a "fair wage" they'll be pushed aside like everyone else in a low wage job and the next wave of illegals will take their place. That's OK, then they can just go on welfare and get Medicaid and free school lunches. Why not? It's becoming the "American Way" as far as I can see. The sad thing, is with all the shit going on the Mexican's are the only ones marching in the gaddam street....we all should be!! Well, I've gotta say, they sure impressed me. Don't like it, don't agree with it, but they sure do have balls.....maybe they're the few "americans" who have any left.

One good thing is the Iraqi's seem to be so busy killing each other, that they seem to be leaving the G.I.'s alone. Fucking laughable in a way. Maybe we can dress Saddam up as a Kurd and both the Shiites and the Sunni's will blast his ass for us the necessity of dealing with the rest of this kangaroo court.

On the up side Oprah is getting involved with the deplorable state of the education in the US. So is Bill Gates. Time Magazine and the Oprah show teamed up to do an expose on the rotten condition some of these schools are really in. For example one school in Chicago had a pool that hadn't seen water in 10 years, a music department with no instruments, a gym with a leaking ceiling and no useable equipment while its suburban counterpart had a cardio room, TWO Olympic sized swimming pools, an award winning music program and....well, you get the idea. The school an hour away from the White House looked like it needed to be condemned. After the Time Magazine/Oprah show aired the district found $10 million dollars to appropriate for repairs. Remind me, again? Why do we have politicians???

Maybe Oprah can add Education Secretary to the list of things she should be doing in government, along with FEMA director, and President of the United States.

Really hard not to be disgusted. What has happened to this country?


Just a Funny.....

The magician and the parrot

A magician worked on a cruise ship. Because the audience was different each week, the magician did the same tricks repeatedly.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the show each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.

The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.

This went on for a day... and then 2 days... and then 3 days...

Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said,

"OK, I give up. Where's the f**kin' ship?"

Friday, April 14, 2006

I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree

Well I was up until 4 am but I managed to write both my final paper and a powerpoint presentation for Ditzy Dora's class. I even dragged my tired butt to the gym this morning....although I was sure yawning a lot during my workout.

On the way home it started to rain, so I rolled down the window of "the old girl" just to smell that great smell of ozone or whatever it is that makes that after the rain smell. I just love it.

With those two big projects off my back I can finally feel myself relaxing a little. Well, at least I don't feel like I'm drowning quite as much as I did last week.

So an odd thing happened in Horrible Hettie's class this week. She asked me if I had applied to the Master's program yet, which I haven't. I felt like saying, "I'm holding on to my ass with both hands ya mind if I take care of this semester first???" But I didn't....I just said I hadn't applied yet. So she said to me, "Well, I'll be happy to write you a letter of recommendation." Ya coulda knocked me over with a feather.....will wonders never cease?!?

The semester is rolling to a close. I did get the otoscope and the opthalmascope in the mail from the EBay guy, and everything was A-OK. He even threw in the set of tuning forks and the reflex hammer. So, I'll be practicing on the Little Hams to warm up for my Lab Practicum.

Since I was so productive last night/this morning I'm letting myself just chill out a little. Maybe it's the rain, but I love this weather. I love seeing the grass turning bright green and hearing the little birds chirping. Spring is just an awesome season. This is where I see God all around me. The church of the great outdoors. Just the simplest things are so incredible - the crocuses and the daffodils that the former owner planted are springing up in the lawn and on the side of the house. So I'm benefitting from her green thumb.

I think the next project will be to get that blog roll thing going so I don't have to keep counting on piggybacking off NukieBubba and Kimmys blog lists. Oh....I'm just not a left brain thinker!!! I'm tired just thinking about it. But I miss ya'll. It's funny how that happens. Relationships pop up in the oddest places and in the strangest ways. I found myself thinking about Kimmy as I was throwing in a load of laundry. Someone I have never met but I know so many things about her and her family. Then I thought I wonder where Jeff was? On vacation, or travelling for work? And then I thought about WDKY and wondered how things were going with his daughter. Just funny little things that pop into your head.

I need to get the kids Easter Candy! I was waiting until the last minute so I wouldn't have to worry about hiding it for more than a day. I don't know if starting that whole Easter Bunny thing was a good idea or not. I'm raising the kids R.C., so I make sure that they understand the real meaning of the holiday, but somehow the Easter Bunny got started....
I remember when we were kids Edith used to hide those little chocolate eggs all over the house. There was a coin under each one depending on what color the foil was. Most eggs were worth a nickel, but the flowered foil eggs were worth .15 cents and the gold foil eggs were worth a quarter. Poor Wakanukie was the littlest one so....well, he didn't usually make out as well as Bubbanukie and I did. I always went for the big front window...there usually was one in each corner so I usually scooped 4 eggs right off the bat. Sometimes Nuke would slip in there and grab the eggs on the other window before I did. Well, all's fair in love and war and Easter egg hunting. I'll be working this week-end so I hope ya'll have a nice Easter if ya celebrate and a nice spring week-end if ya don't celebrate.

Easter Hammy

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Oh, Reeeeallly???

An interesting thing happened this morning, as I was (attempting) to get the little Hams off to school. The cartoon they were watching showed one of the characters driving with his feet. One of the little Ham-meisters said, "Uncle Wakanukie can drive with his knees!!!" And I said, "Oh reeeeallly??? And what eeeeelse can Uncle Wakanukie doooo?" (Yeah, just let Aunt Hammy try driving the kids around with her knees and see what would happen then!)

Then, Nukie dumps his blog everytime I turn around. Geez. Ya know how hard it is for me to keep changing those little linky things???? Cryin' out loud. It's gonna take me all day to get to everyones blog. As far as Hammy is concerned HTML stands for HATE MAIL!! %&*^$#@*&^%$#@!!!!!! At least you could VOLUNTEER to COME OVER and SET UP MY BLOG ROLL...there....Bubba....

Shit, I hope the little buggers don't find my blog. I'd have to chip in for counseling.....
I can just hear Archie now, "That' what ya get for being so Labial with those gaddam kids!"
Hamrose: "Uh....ya mean Liberal?"
Archie: "Yeah, that's what I said....Labial."
Hamrose: "Uh....yeah."


P.S. What exactly is it with the 310??? Yer so skinny, it sure ain't yer weight!


Yes, but is it art??

On the lighter side....look what some people can do with a watermelon and a knife!

Not to mention an egg and a laser......

Thanks to Rockdog for sending these my way. I love the eggs.


Saturday, April 08, 2006

Monkey In The White House

My God! Darwin was right!!

Gotta love it, gotta love it...


Thursday, April 06, 2006

I'm Fried!!

Sometimes I don't think it's possible to pack one single thing more into my days.
I don't even know where the times goes sometimes!

This week has been hell. I had a huge exam in Horrible Hetties class on Monday. I didn't get to study anywhere near as much as I wanted to, and on top of it, the weather sucked that day. It poured a soaking freezing cold rain. By the time I made it over to the building my class was in, I was drenched, and then had to sit and take an exam not only in class, but afterward in lab, so I was stuck there for 5 hours in soaked clothes. As WDKY would say, "Fuck Me!"

So, I ended up with a B+ which looked great compared to the class average. (This is the class where 25% of the people failed last semester and are repeating it). The really weird thing about the lab is that we are all in about 10 different exam rooms that have camera's and microphones in them so she can watch how we're doing. It unnerves the hell out of me. I can't do something when I know someone is watching me! It's just too weird. Needless to say, I better get over that fast...she doesn't take any prisoners!

I bid on (and won the bid) on an opthalmascope/otoscope set on Ebay. I'm really nervous about it, because I've never bought anything on Ebay before. It looks like a really nice set, and it was a good deal (considering what they run brand new) but it feels uncomfortable paying upfront for something that someone is going to send me in the mail. I don't even know this person. I hope it works out all right.

So, I've been working at my 2nd job. It's at a small...SMALL..rural hospital outside the city. Jesus, it reminds me of Green Acres. (Remember that show??) I think I'll be working between the ER and the ICU. Which is fine with me. I am so pissed at that credit card company, that I'm going to pay that card off and cut the fucker up. That's my goal. (I forgot to mail the bill, and sent it 2 days late. They slapped a huge late fee on it, and hiked up the interest rate! Bastards!!)

I went to see a psychic on Tuesday. Remember I mentioned that psychic who told me to go back to school, the one that reminded me of a jacked up Whoopie Goldberg? Well, I saw her Tuesday, and it was very interesting. It was a mix of good and bad news. Which is something she has never done before. She told me to get rid of my car. She said it's a lemon, which it is. She also told me to sign my oldest daughter up for soccer this summer. I made a joke about, "Oh, no! Don't tell me I'll be one of those Soccer Mom's!" She said, "Soccer Mom's meet Soccer Dad's." That put a whole nuther spin on it...yes, it did. She also told me I need to work things out with my ex-ham. She said there's too much anger left over, and that will make it very hard for me to connect with someone else. She said I should invite him to dinner. LOL. She also said that there is a problem with someone stealing narcotics where I work! She said it was more than one nurse. She told me if I happen to see anything, not to try to intervene - to stay out of it, and to just write down what I saw and pass it on. Pretty weird, huh? She also said I would be getting a phone call from someone I haven't heard from in a very long time, and that it would either be a beginning or an ending. (!!!) She told me that I need to give more to charity, and include the kids in that process. She said they need to see charity in action - that we as a family should pick something every month and give to that particular charity. She also told me she saw a funeral. I was surprised she said that, but then she also told me that she felt I had a feeling something was going to happen, and I told her that was true. I've felt like something was going to happen for a few months now. She said that there was nothing I could do to prepare for it or prevent it, and that she couldn't elaborate on it, but that the person was "ready to go". She also said it wasn't who I was thinking it was. She told me that there was a jealous woman around me. (And she also said it wasn't who I thought it was on that as well...) And she told me that I needed to watch my gallbladder. (Which has been acting up lately). And a few other little things. So, all in all it was pretty interesting.

So that was my wacky week. Now, I'm going to check on ya all....

C U Later....


Sunday, April 02, 2006

Nose Stories

We had a kid in the ER with a bead up her nose.
Of course it was hell for everyone concerned....(believe me!)
But it reminded me of the time our "other brother" stuck a bean up his nose.
Remember that game, "Don't spill the Beans" ? Well, we had that game. In fact we had just about every game ever made by Milton Bradley or Parker Brothers. One time, our youngest brother stuck one of the beans up his nose and my mother had to take him to the ER to get it out. I think he actually did that twice. All I know is my mother made that game pretty much disappear after that. It seemed to me that either Nukie or the "other brother" was always going to the ER for something or another....

My Aunt Mary (Edith's Sister) lived about four houses down from us when we were growing up.
I always used to hang around with my cousin because we were only a year apart. Sometimes I would go to church with my Aunt and Cousin and sometimes my Cousin would come to church with us. I wasn't particularly well behaved in church (if ya can believe that....) mostly because I was bored and squirmy. So, I would do things to make my Cousin laugh. I used to have this little white straw hat, with a black ribbon, and piles of flowers stuck all around the brim. There used to be these little yellow fuzz balls strategically placed in among the flowers. I used to pick them off the hat and stick them in my nostrils and look over at my cousin when Archie wasn't paying attention or was falling asleep in church; which he did a lot. She'd laugh her ass off, and I would hurry up and pull them out of there and try to look innocent...which was hard to do even back then. Archie could never catch me doing anything, but he always knew it was me. That was one of my favorite things to do. I eventually picked all the fuzz balls off the hat, but it was worth it. She'd always laugh at that - without fail. Whenever I think about it now, it makes me laugh just to think about what a little ballbuster I much has changed there, huh?

Funny memories.

Hamby Pamby