Boomers!

It seems to be the season for the Hammy household to take the plunge into the twenty-first century, what with gaming Cubes, and blogs and all. I decided to finally upgrade our TV to a satellite dish – complete with 165 channels of monthly crap, mainly to appease my daughter, Ham Jr. # 1, who was apparently bored with the one channel that she could watch on our broadcast rate cable package. Now, I really don’t have loads of sympathy when she is whining that tune. She’s talking to a person who grew up with 3 local channels and – if the wind was blowing just right and you used enough aluminum foil on the rabbit ears, you also could pick up the Public Television station and 1 fuzzy Canadian station. I managed to survive. But I gave in and now she has the choice of Disney, Nick and Cartoon Network along with 4 or 5 others that run programs that don’t make me cringe too badly.

Disney is not just an interesting power monger of a company; it is also an interesting channel to watch – mainly to see who is on it. The Baby Boomers ostensibly are insistent upon dragging their old, aging rock stars (at least those who have not overdosed and died) around into all forms of media. While Disney was showing some upcoming previews of Holiday TV shows, who should appear crooning “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” with his skinny scrawny pucker lipped self? None other than Steven Tyler, one half of the infamous Toxic Twins. First it was Ozzy and Family (on a reality TV show no less) and now it’s a Toxic Twin on Disney. Shit. When the hell are the Baby Boomer’s going to die already??? It’s bad enough that the programming on most of the major radio stations consist of alternating Pink Floyd with Led Zeppelin and one of the biggest TV sit-com hits has been “That 70’s Show”. But now Retro Television Network has dragged up all the old chestnuts like: Leave it to Beaver, The Brady Bunch, Hogan’s Heroes and My Three Sons. Some of these shows were bad twenty years ago – let it go already! And, if all that wasn’t bad enough Target has a line of furniture and accessories with Brown and Orange color schemes, and Vogue magazine just printed an article on the “new” Platform Shoe look.

Why can’t the Boomer’s just drive off to Sun City in their PT Cruiser’s with a trunk full of Hair Dye, Diapers and Polygrip? What a self absorbed generation! Move out of the F**King way already, you had your day! I know, I know – your thinking, “What’s the Harm? Let them relive their youth!” No. I’m telling you – it starts with the media and then it seeps into every aspect of daily life. These people will stop at NOTHING. Just wait. When you start seeing Afro’s come back and Powder Blue Leisure suits with Polyester Disco shirts you’ll wish you had listened to me.

Peace Man!
Ham-N-Eggs