Evil Rat Things
I haven't put up a new post since Saturday because Sunday was one of the worst days I have ever had on the job...probably ever. What made it so bad, was that it wasn't an issue with patients, but with co-workers. People who can manage to bring out the absolute worst in you, and ratchet up the bullshit until it gets to a point of no return. It was so bad that I actually completely lost it at work for a couple of minutes. Then, of course, I was bitchy after I got home. Then, had a terrible time sleeping that night...yada, yada, yada. And even though I tried to calm down, and even though I knew it was over and I needed to let it go, and even though I tried not to bitch at the kids...I just couldn't dissipate that anger and frustration.
Monday morning I went to the gym and worked off all that shit with Ron's help. Thank god for physical exercise.
In the midst of all that angst on Sunday night, I had a brief epiphany. I suddenly realized, "Fuck all that shit. None of this crap matters. None of those people matter. Someday this whole phase of my life will be far in the past and won't even be an afterthought. Move on." And even though I was still pissed, it seemed to really clarify things for me. So, in the future I'm just going to care a lot less about a lot of things that happen. I don't like getting angry at my kids for residual shit that happens at work. They don't deserve it, and I don't either. Time is going by in my life, and I need to crystallize what's really important to me. I refuse to spend my energy on that kind of shit again. So I say, "Just say NO to Evil Rat Things." Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all and the horse's they rode in on.
It's time to stop being a Type A personality. It's time to just be a Slacker like everyone else.
I get paid the same, and I'll save the stress on my cardiac system. My kids will appreciate it too.
Because the bottom line is....it doesn't really matter...it's all just stupid shit.
-Epiphanied Ham
posted by Hamrose @ 7:30 AM
7 Comments:
hammy, you truly have seemed to be much more calm of late. i think the yoga, training with ron, and your personal-growth-through-blogging have played a part. you seem more at peace with yourself than i have ever seen you. (and we have known each other for 21 years). what you're doing seems to be working!
What?? Has it been that long?? No way!
Really?? How long did you and Nuke date??
Well, that's going to be my new style. I'm going to strive to be the Queen of Slack. In fact, there's a couple of people at work I can use as mentors.
From now on...I'm going for that "Prozac feel"
actually, we met and dated for a bit when nukie was 20. he was just a baby! split up, and then hung out as friends starting when he was 22, grew into (LOVE),and we married in '89. so, i have been witness to your evolving maturity. you've come a long way, hammy!
You mean he's not a baby anymore?? When did that happen?? LOL
Made me think of that Seinfeld episode where George's father practices the "serenity now". Some things are worth fighting for, most fall under the WTF catagory.
Here, here!! I agree.
I hate slacking those at work-cause then I just sit there and stare at the clock ...if I'm productive and moving time seems to move forward faster.
Although, today? I'm slacking. The doctor even had to room his own patients this morning on a couple of occassions because I was too busy talking about American Idol.
I decided to take a long lunch and here I sit blogging ...I'm thinking I need a nap now too.
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