My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Monday, June 05, 2006


Of all the “Seven Deadly Sins”, Wrath is the one that applies to me. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being Italian or not, but I have a temper that - when hit just right - can flare up like a match and flash fry an egg. (My first apartment had a few glass fragments permanently imbedded in the wall above the sink – and it was not “art”.)

But, what I really don’t understand is, why is Wrath a sin? I mean, if we are made in God’s image, and if we have to contend with the Wrath of God, then what gives? God can be wrathful but I can’t? I mean no disrespect here (I’m throwing that in so I don’t get a lightening bolt to the keister) and I can fully dig the principle that “rank hath its privileges” but I’d like to submit a comment in the Divine Complaint Department.

I looked up the definition of wrath in the Webster’s and came up with this:

Wrath (rath) n. 1, fierce anger, rage 2, vengeance

So, I know somewhere it says “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord.” So I’m willing to compromise. The Lord can have the vengeance part, and I’ll just keep the fierce anger and rage part. I’ll even save the rage part for PMS days and use the regular old fierce anger part for everyday use! I think that’s fair.

Really now, it’s not like wrath doesn’t get used. Right off the top of my head, I know we have “The Grapes of Wrath” and we have “The Wrath of Khan”. Geez. Grapes get to be wrathy but I can’t? And who is this Khan anyway? What makes him so special? I can see a case being made for the other five and one-half being sins (that Lust one….really now, what’s the big deal? Unless you’re Jimmy Carter, Lust Shmust. Who cares?) Greed, Sloth, Envy, Pride and Gluttony I can see those being deadly. I mean who wants to deal with a greedy, lazy, envious, prideful glutton??

But anger? Why don't we replace that with something really sinful. How’s about STUPIDITY?

Yeah. If we made Stupidity a sin then maybe us wrathful people wouldn’t get so angry.

And what about INCOMPETENCE or WHININESS? Yeah, now we’re talking. Let’s make Stupidity, Incompetence and Whininess all sins and we wrathful people would be a whole lot less wrathful. Then there's also SLOBBINESS? Let’s add Slobs to the list, too. While we’re at it lets add PEOPLE WHO ARE AS SLOW AS DEAD TURTLES to the list. I know they really burn my ass on a good day.

Personally, I think the list of Seven needs revising. It’s too out dated for one thing, and it really could use some clarification. For example, I prefer to think of wrath as just plain old justifiable anger considering all the irritating people and circumstances that are out there; and we haven’t even discussed computers. How can we have a world with computers in it and not expect a little wrath every now and then? It’s just not possible. I’m just surprised computercide isn’t number one on the list of reasons why people need to go out and buy another one. In fact, I think every computer should come supplied with it's own baseball bat. The point is “Wrathlessness” is a Utopian concept, right up there with “Sharing” and “Forgiveness”. It goes against genetic programming. We don’t want to share, we don’t want to forgive and we get "wrathy". Is wrath a worse ill than stupidity, incompetance or whining? Something that's worthy of being classified a deadly sin? Who knows. I do know it's tough on the dinnerware from time to time. I guess the bottom line is I'm not Mother Teresa. So, sue me.


At Tue Jun 06, 01:36:00 AM, Blogger WDKY said...

I think a little wrath can be good for the soul, actually. And let me tell you, Mother Theresa isn't all she's cracked up to be. I'd rather have a a wrathful, left-wing, wannabe-biker Italian chick any day :-)

At Tue Jun 06, 08:59:00 AM, Blogger runningman said...

Haven't visited the site in awhile but glad I did today. Nothing like a little wrath hey? I caught some wrath once from my Mom and I can't imagine anything worse. Hilarious post Hammy. Try to keep the tires on the ground.
RS, Fletcher

At Wed Jun 07, 07:42:00 PM, Blogger Nukie said...

Thanks. I thought it was a perfect fit for the series!


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