My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

In Case Yer Wondering Why Yer Gas Bills Are So High....

Today's blog post was prompted by the NPR morning news story about the Securities and Exchange Commission which is considering new rules on divulging executive pay. A little "blurby" mentioned that Exxons No. 1 man, Lee R. Raymond, was earning $80 Million dollars in cash and "other incentives" - like stock options (and all those other little ways the rich have of adding to their net worth while hiding it from the IRS). And those figures were from 2004. Raymond ranked 7th on the 2004 list of highest paid CEO's. (That's 7th people....) Of course, that was all this Ham-ster had to hear, as I was hauling my keester out of bed this morning.

So, I did a little math. $80 Mill would gross $1,538,461.54 per week. Meaning he would be earning $307,692.30 a day, or $38,461.54 an hour.

What this means, is that when Raymond takes a shit at work, let's say the entire process takes 15 minutes...He earns $9,615.38 while he takes that corporate crap. Not too shabby for wiping yer ass.

I wonder what the No. 1 guy earns while he takes a dump?

On last month's fuel bill I wrote "You bloodsucking bastards!" across it, before stuffing it in the envelope along with my extortion money.
Childish? Oh, bet.
Did it make me feel better? Oh, bet.
Justified?'s just my onion pi, bet.

Pork Fried Ham

(P.S. Hope the link works. I'm moving through this techie world a little at a time here people, so cut me some slack.)


At Wed Jan 11, 05:27:00 PM, Blogger kimmyk said...

Man Hamrose, just imagine as many times as your brother references his bathroom habits how much money he'd be makin if he got paid mad cash to take a dump!

Rich people just keep getting richer because I am forced to shove 30 bucks in my gas tank a week. SO unfair. I'm gettin a bike.

At Wed Jan 11, 07:44:00 PM, Blogger Hamrose said...

I wonder if he gets a paid lunch?

At Thu Jan 12, 04:02:00 AM, Blogger WDKY said...

"You bloodsucking bastards"? Fantastic. I love it.

At Thu Jan 12, 09:19:00 AM, Blogger runningman said...

Wow, that's a lot for takin a dump. What would that compute out to be if he just ripped a loud fart in the office? You are hilarious HamShow, just hilarious. Have a nice weekend.

At Thu Jan 12, 02:31:00 PM, Blogger Chuck said...

I live in one of the Gulf states affected by the hurricane so the gas prices have been higher than the national average. Anyway, at years end the education budget now finds itself 200 million dollar in the black. It was supposed to be in the red. The reason. Tax on gas.

At Thu Jan 12, 04:20:00 PM, Blogger Hamrose said...

You know what would be really novel? When we have something like Katrina happen, why don't these big CEO pigs offer to forgo their bonuses instead of just squeezing the shit out of all the rest of us.


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