My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Archie's Birthday Party

This week "Archie" celebrated his birthday. We celebrated in shifts, in order to separate the "germie" family members (The Ham-ster family) from the "Non-germie" family members (everyone else).

Archie and Edith just had their third (Yes, third) toilet replaced earlier in the week. To be fair, they do have three bathrooms in the house. But there is something very weird about this family and toilets....anyway, Edith had to find another plumber, because she permanently pissed off the one we had been using. So, as we were polishing off the birthday cake and ice cream, Archie starts telling us how offended he was that the plumber who came over had this big-time butt crack showing. Being that Nukie and I were both at the same table, and both just happen to have a blog...we just jumped right in on this conversation:

Archie: "...and I couldn't believe that this guy had this crack showing, and right there with the kids and all, I don't think were going to call him back."

Hammy: "You mean, that isn't part of the code?? I thought they had to have a butt crack showing? At least they do if they're refridgerator repair men. I'm not sure about washer and dryer repair men, though."

Edith: "Well, he was definitely better than that other plumber that came first. He looked like he was HOMELESS, and he SMELLED."

Archie: "Yeah, but he sure knew his plumbing."

Edith: "He didn't even WASH his HANDS when he finished. He left with them all DIRTY."

Nukie: "Well, maybe he was going to wipe them off on the car upholstery."

Hammy: "So I take it ya Didn't shake good-bye, then huh?"

Nukie: "Well, I guess ya gotta decide if ya want The Butt Crack Guy or the The Homeless Smelly Guy."

Hammy: "If ya want a clean plumber with pants that fit ya have ta pay extra for that I guess..."

Archie: (Laughing) "Yeah, yeah...I guess so."

I decided not to mention that the plumber Edith managed to permanently piss off had pants that fit just fine and he washed...his only problem was he drank ....and was somewhat unreliable....and kept changing what he charged ya for services rendered....ahem.

Anyway, I thought Nuke would jump all over this one, but maybe he's reached his quota for toilet stories from the homefront. So, as the saying goes "Never waste a good blog story." (I made that up, there is no saying like that....but there should be.)



At Tue Jan 24, 09:35:00 AM, Blogger Queen Snarfetta said...

So are you trying to tell us that the whole family is full of shit, Hammy? Yeah... my family too...

Didn't you also just have a toilet replaced? Hmmm....

So much ca-ca... so little time...

And what is wrong with you guys. Don't you like plumber butt?

At Tue Jan 24, 02:35:00 PM, Blogger kimmyk said...

Shoulda put his money down his crack.....or swiped the credit card. *cha ching*

At Wed Jan 25, 06:18:00 AM, Blogger WDKY said...

You're just lucky to have so many plumbers to choose from... who cares if they smell or expose their cracks?

At Wed Jan 25, 10:41:00 AM, Blogger Hamrose said...

I take it "fixers of the loo" are a little hard to find in your neck of the woods? Smell isn't too bad (of course smell is in the nose of the beholder...) However, really bad butt cracks do present a conundrum of sorts. You never know if the person is doing it on purpose or not. If they are, then what to make of that. If they aren't then do you tell them? Should you tell them? And how exactly can a really bad butt crack be ignored?
But then again, when the water is rising...I suppose it doesn't really matter in the end (no pun intended).

At Thu Mar 16, 07:49:00 AM, Blogger answer-man said...

ps I'm having a little trouble sending comments so if I do it twice please excuse me and I apologize.


Post a Comment

<< Home