My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Victory Dance...

"I fixed my computer, I fixed my computer!!" It's true...I fixed it myself, and it's running like a champ.

Waka, you big shit....I'll remember's only a bike fer christ sake....
You'll all be sorry when I'm gone...
Your gonna say, I shoulda let old Hammy ride the bike. And it will be too late.

Thanks WDKY for the advice. It really helped. You're an angel.....

FS5 you should link that pic. I figured you'd find it...ya smart little computer type dude, you.
Not that I feel sorry for her, working for the Bush Admin would give me a migraine too.

Firestarter, I have to say the photo's on yer blog are shitty as all hell and nauseating to the eye teeth, but I have to back Israel on this one. With all due respect to the truly innocent, at least Israel doesn't dick around. They give 'em a warning to cut the shit, and if they don't they rain bombs. Better than what we're doing: using your military personnel for cannon fodder and spending $300 billion and 4 years dip shitting around. Israel has always played it straight with terrorists. I'm sure this comment will ignite a shit storm but that's how I see it... It sometimes seems that in the Middle East, Israel can do no right, but everyone else is cut the slack. When was the last time anyone heard of Israel sending suicide bombers into other peoples countries? I realize it all stems back to the original 1917 agreement with Britain, which was a big jacked up deal, and the mess of the Balfour declaration. But the bottom line is every time Israel does a "land for peace deal" the other side gets the land and never manages to keep the peace. It's a lotta crap. Lebanon is as dirty as all the rest...

As for minimum wage (as long as I'm on a run) there is NO EVIDENCE that raising wages cuts jobs. NO EVIDENCE. Even among economists surveyed in 2003 only 46% agreed with the statement that raising minimum wage cuts jobs. People who work deserve to be able to live. There is no such thing as an "unskilled job" if you have to think, write, speak, or physically manipulate something then that's a freaking skill!! Christ almighty. Anyone who has worked as a waitress, a cab driver, a nurses aide, a tow truck driver, a short order cook, a store clerk or any one of the host of low paying jobs knows that you BUST YOUR ASS on those goddamn jobs and people deserve to be able to afford to live in decent housing and drive a decent car, as well as put food on the table and clothe themselves. When these fucking CEO's earn ten bazillion goddamn dollars a year, and these sports thugs earn Gazillions, and these fucking Hollywood numbnuts earn Tragillions a year then YES, the common working stiff deserves a fucking decent paying job!

Beans: $10 and hour (and you know you don't get a paid lunch with that, baby) translates to $375 dollars GROSS an week. Big Fucking Deal...and that's by the year 2010. Shit balls that's all that is....for a city as expensive as Chicago it's shit balls. What should minimum wage be? Oh, I don't know. Why don't we do something like....tie it to the salary of the CEO???? Yeah, that's a good idea. Tie it to the salary of the CEO. He makes more, they make more. Yeah, that'll work for me.

Do you all realize that these jobs are held by men and women in their 30's, 40's, 50's?? We aren't talking teenagers here. Next time you are in Walmart....take a look at who really works there. Not everyone is going to go to college and earn a degree as a Lawyer or Doctor or Engineer or Rocket Scientist. Not everyone is going to learn a trade and be an Electrician or a Plumber. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way for some people - for whatever reason. But they are still working for crying out loud. They shouldn't be PUNISHED for it by having to work for shit pay.

The top 6 richest Walton family members combined incomes total almost 1 trillion dollars.
That is a freaking sin.

And we need a national health insurance plan of some kind! Health benefits are not optional they are a RIGHT. This country needs to step up to the plate and TAKE CARE OF ITS CITIZENS.

Washington is owned by the wealthy and the powerful. The wealthy are greedy and distanced from the reality of the average man and womans life. The wealthy are concerned with increasing their wealth, period. Laws are not made they are bought. The only time something like this gets passed is when the cry and hue of the sin of not passing it has been ignored beyond what the politicians can even stand. And then what is passed is too little too late.

Sorry baby, but its PMS week...and like I once said, PMS for me means play mine straight...or as my ex once said, "PMS with you means pack my suitcase."

Jalepeno Ham

Friday, July 28, 2006

Learning to fly

Did anyone happen to see the picture of Condoleezza Rice in the New York Times on Thursday?? Well it's priceless. She's shown standing at a microphone with Prime Minister Fouad Siniora of Lebanon next to her and she's holding her head and looking like she's about to puke, pass out or both. The caption should read "Why did I take this job, why DID I take this job?" Maybe FS5 can scare it up. He's good at stuff like that.

Other good news in the Times: Chicago orders "Big Box" stores to raises wages. To a mere $10 an hour by 2010 and an additional $3.oo in benefits. Paltry, but it's a start.

Another piece of news that made old Hammy smile: The securities and exchange commission adopted a set of rules to make it easier to see how much top executives are paid.

Well, well. All in all 3 good reasons to buy the NY Times.

So I've been taking out my love life angst with power tools in the form of sanding down and refinishing my daughters dressers. God power tools are theraputic!! And cheaper than buying shoes, although they don't look as nice...

I went to the grocery store to return my empty bottles and in comes this guy (who I have seen walking around town from time to time) who has one huge mat of hair from the top of his head to the back of his knees. He has several layers of clothes on, including a parka jacket (This is July, and even in Buffalo it's warm in July) and has an odor radius of about 2 and 1/2 feet and is laughing to himself (with some gusto I might add). He ends up standing in the checkout line behind me in order to redeem his bottle tickets for a bag of Dorito's. So I turned around and
gave him my bottle tickets. I figured he needed it more than me. If he weren't so plumb crazy I would have mentioned to him, that in the future - should he happen to need medical care - that several OTHER area hospitals have great ER's... just in case.

So I saw Pirates of the Carribean, Dead Man's Chest and I have to say I enjoyed the performance. Johnny Depp is great in that part and he's made it an excellent character.
However, it is a shameless set up for the third movie - even by Hollywood standards. Christ it almost feels like it ends in the middle of the goddamn movie. I'm sitting there and all of a sudden it's over? So, I'm like WTF? But I'll tell ya this - it takes some talent to make a guy with rotten teeth so goddamn sexy. Holy shit...Mm-mm-mmm. The kissing scenes make me want to spit, but he is a sexy, sexy man.

So Waka, the girls tell me you have a motorcycle!?! Is this true???? In that case why haven't ya come over here and given me a riding lesson....ya big shit...

I'm off...need to cruise some blogs.

C U Later


Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Yeah, yeah...happy birthday to me...

Ok. Well Waka went and posted a happy birthday message for me on his blog. Yep, twas my birthday last week.

Ok. I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention:

The official number is 29. It stays 29 until I change it, and I ain't a gonna change it.

And in case yer wondering where Nukie's baby picture will be scanned in and posted in September at some point. And then I'll tell ya the secret about these pictures if ya don't figure it out. Hint: review Waka's and see if ya notice anything...I'm not a tellin afore September...

Oh, hell...

Well. I'm back from vacation and in stereotypical fashion I called in sick on what was supposed to be my first day back (fuck that shit) because in my mind I was still on vacation.
So guess what happens while I'm home playin hookey? The friggin light in the kitchen spontaneously explodes and catches fire! WTF!! So, big mess, Archie "helping" me (holy shit, one of these days I'm gonna just lose it...) and had to call in to work ANOTHER day AND pay premium price for an electrician to come out on a Sunday and inspect the wires and shit so I could turn the electricity back on that circuit. WTF?

Then...I'll spare the details and just say I ended up getting a not too pleasant kick in the ass in the "affairs of the heart" department. I had to go to WDKY's blog and view a slide show of all of his HNT pics and go to FS5's blog and read how much of an asshole Bush is just to make myself feel better.

Jesus H. Christ.

Nukie, my computer is all fucked up again, and it's not my fault. Fix it pleeeeeeeease!

Well Runningman ended his blog. It's a shame, it was one of my favorite one's.
Good luck to ya honey and stop by and say Hi every once in a while.

I see Bush is still an asshole (have to say it, it makes me feel better).

So I need to channel all this heartbreak hotel energy into something, I'm gonna paint the living room and rip the carpet out and put a nice oriental carpet in there. Nothing like a little decorating ta make me feel better...or some shit like that...

Well, I'm off ta visit some blogs.
See ya,

Ham-burger Helper Hammy

P.S. Like the illustration for this post? That's how I friggin feel... and with no novocaine either....shit, shit and double shit.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Clean Up Yer Computer

Ok. I know it's not the computers fault but it needs to clean up its act.
If your computer needs to clean up its act I highly recommend cruising over to Firestarter 5's blog site. Heres the link. The porn shots are on the bottom (no pun intended).

I'd like ta say thanks, eh! The Crap Cleaner is the best. Wakanukie said he heard it would interfere with Spybot Search and Destroy (another great download) but I haven't found that to be the case.


Sunday, July 09, 2006

Family Reunion Time

If anyone needs me, I'll be at the beach. It's family reunion time again. LOL


Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy Fourth of July

Happy 4th of July. Hope everyone is having a nice relaxing day free from work, stress and George Bush.

On this day I like to remember that the United States belongs to the people. (No matter what the elected assholes like to think.)

I also like to take a moment and remember the "red" in the stripes and say a from-the-heart thank you to all those who gave of themselves in this country's history. The United States has many outstanding things about it, but I think our military ranks right up there. It never fails to amaze me that no matter how lazy, stupid, selfish or ignorant the general population of this country seems to me at times, that what rises to the top are dedicated and honorable people who make the voluntary (and sometimes involuntary) choice to defend their nation and President; in more often than not, dismal and dangerous circumstances. Usually on foreign shores and sometimes without much support or understanding at home.

I never take their sacrifice lightly and I know without them I couldn't have the life I lead today. This day belongs to them. And because of them this day belongs to us.

Kiss a soldier! (and then send him to me...)

Star Spangled Hammy