My Onion Pi

If you can figure out the name, you'll know what it's about. Fortunately, I'm literate. I'm also funny on occasion. Just beware of the flying PMS.

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Real Year of The Dog

Well, first toilet stories and now Chinese New Years. Great minds think alike. Either that or Nukie and I both need some new lives. Anyway, I had intended to post this on Saturday, so as to make use of everyday of this terrific Year of the Fire Dog. While Nukie's interpretation is pretty par for the (Male) course, the real significance of the year of the dog isn't quite so...doggy.

2006 is indeed the Year of the Dog. This year is a great chance to make real progress in your life. The Dog is loyal and trustworthy and that can be translated as "steady progress". This isn't a good year for "get rich quick" schemes, and anything that isn't built on solid ground may end up falling away during this year. But this is a great year to work on the long term (5 year or 10 year goals).

There is a saying that "It's great to build castles in the sky, just put foundations under them". And that's the best way to make the most of a Dog Year. Write specific, detailed goals down, so that the substeps can be clarified, this way it will be easier to see if the goals may have some unforseen snags or blocks that need to be worked out. This is not a good year for risks or unplanned spur of the moment ventures. Don't spread your resources out too thinly in this year.

This is the year to fix, mend or invest in those things that are essential to your life. Home, car, career, family. This is the year to clean out those basements, tune up the car, or take a course or certificate program. Family can be strengthened with a little time and attention there as well.
The more solid you make these aspects of your life, the more you can advance them in a Dog Year.

The lesson of the Dog is to stick with the tried-and-true.
Also the Dog teaches us not to take the things we have in life for granted - just as a dog will bark loudly (or in Kimmy's case tear up the Rubbertree plant) when it wants attention, the Dog Year will make those neglected areas of our life a big headache if not taken care of.

The Fire aspect of this year relates to the year of the Yang. This relates to Fame or general reputation. This is a good year to update hairstyles, wardrobe or business cards. This year highlights our "face we present to the world", in other words: your image. And this also presents an opportunity to spruce up your career sector. Maybe with a class or two, a conference or a seminar. If your self-employed this is a good year to review the books and tighten up bookkeeping along with housekeeping.

The bottom line for the Dog is this: it will highlight what in your life is working, and what isn't. So, you can be the pruner, or let fate prune for you. This may be especially harsh in a Yang year.

What this may mean for the outside world in general: harsh weather pattern and stock market fluctuations.

So woof, woof, woof. Make the most of this opportune time.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it."

Astro Hammy

Friday, January 27, 2006

Just Some Rambles

Well, it's Friday morning and I face the same Friday morning dilemma. What to do with 1/2 a sandwich. It would be so much easier if both kids liked the same things to eat. If I try to make each one a sandwich from one slice of bread, then the sandwich is too thick. If I save the other half, by Monday it will be stale. Sigh. These are the kinds of things I think about at 5:56 in the morning. Usually I stay in bed listening to NPR for a while, but the Spring semester has started and I'm too nervous to sleep, or stay in bed today. I keep thinking, "Do I have the ability to do this, again?" But the answer keeps coming back, "What choice do you have?"

I think about my blog posts and laugh a little. I sometimes wish I were the type of person who didn't care about the things going on "out there". It would be so much easier just to go around life oblivious, or not caring about it all. Sometimes I cruise around to other people's blogs and am a little envious. "Why can't I just write about things like that?" I think. But then I hear a news story, or read something...and it starts all over. "All animals are created equal, Some are just more equal than others." And I just can't stomach the pablum they try to feed me. Just too much, inequity, disregard, too much abuse of power. I can't pretend. Can't pretend I don't care about the downward direction my country is going. So, I write. Do I really think I'm going to change anything??

Ron has called and cancelled our gym session, he's sick. I think, "I wonder if I passed it on to him?" even though I stayed home Monday, so he wouldn't catch anything. So Now what do I do? I should work off this nervous energy and go to the gym. But the gym is across the street from Barnes & do I know the car will actually make it to the gym. Without Ron waiting, I'm just so lazy. I think about Runningman and say to myself, "Just get in touch with your Inner Marine." And laugh a little. Discipline is not my strong point. If I stay here I'll just work myself up over what has to be done this coming semester. I keep telling myself, "Just take it one day at a time." But somehow all the tests and papers and those Goddamn group projects all roll into one big ball and I think, "I can't do this, I just can't do this." But I know I will, somehow. And I just want to cry from the sheer magnitude of it all.

Sometimes I think, "How did this all happen? Where did this life come from?" I know I didn't plan things this way. Before panic turns to despair I stop thinking, and picture myself sitting in the old church I used to go to when I was a child. I used to pass it on the way home from school; back then churches were always open during the day, so I'd stop in. It was so nice and quiet that I could hear the candles burning. Once the heavy wooden door closed, all the street noises and children's voices would disappear. I would slip my hand in the cool marble Holy Water font and bless myself as I walked in. I always walked up the middle aisle. Some people would say to me that it was disrespectful - especially when you went to leave. "You shouldn't turn your back on Jesus!" A few times I tried walking out backwards, so I could leave still facing him. But finally I decided those people were just full of shit. I would start by sitting in one of the back pews. But not the very last one. I would just sit and look around at the architecture. I loved the high vaulted ceilings and the stained glass windows (the real ones, not those crappy modern abstract ones). I looked up at the lights hanging from their long slim black cords. I would drink it all in and smell the smells of years of wax and incense mingled together in the air. Usually I had the place to myself. Every once in a while there would be some little old lady, dressed in black, saying the rosary on a pair of black beads. Sometimes there'd be someone from the Parish Office walking through, and they'd stop and look at me suspiciously, wondering if I was up to no good. But most of the time it was just me. Eventually I would work my way up toward the front pews. But not the very first one. I would sit and look at Him and He would look at me. Sometimes I would be there twenty minutes or longer. We would just look at each other. Nothing needs to be said, I reasoned. He already knows. Somehow talking just seemed redundant. Before I left I would go up to the marble railing around the altar (those hadn't yet been ripped out, in the misguided post Vatican II travesty). I would lay the side of my face on the cool marble for a few minutes and then I would leave. Sometimes I left out the side door, so that no one from school would see me. I would walk down the street to the drugstore with my 15 cents and buy a Butterfinger, and then I'd slip a nickel in the weight scale out in front of the store, the one that also told your fortune. Then I'd go home.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

The Peanut Gallery of Political Pundits

Well, I guess now that Hillary has gone and insulted the Bush White House and the Republican's but good, it stands to reason in the minds of many that she is looking to cast her hat in the political arena come election time.

Ya know, I once knew a guy who was an even bigger conspiracy theory buff than me. A pleasure to talk to. He used ta get my eyes sparkling sometimes. He once told me a story that the CIA (or some such group like that) gathered the Clinton's and the Bushes together - before any of 'em were in the White House - and they had a meeting. According to my friend an agreement of sorts was made. Basically shunting the White House back and forth between them all.

At the time, I didn't give this too much thought. H.W. had been beaten by what seemed to be a landslide victory for Clinton. Iraq was a disaster, and it seemed that whole Bush legacy was washed right up. Clinton was a fairly popular guy, and he hadn't had his famous or I should say infamous blowjob yet. But he was only 1 term in office at that time.
I hadn't even heard anything major about old Dubya, other than he was a half sloshed, coke snorting Governor of Texas. I didn't think he was all that popular in his own state, much less as a Republican Presidential Candidate. And Hillary, well - no one really seemed to appreciate her butting in with that Health Care thing and all. As the years passed however, I started to wonder about what my friend had said. At each step of the way I thought, "No way Clinton will get a second term." But he did. Then came Dubya. I thought "Well, Clinton smoking pot was one thing, but Dubya was arrested for DWI and went into rehab for coke. No way he'll get elected." But he was. Then I thought "Well, the country has had enough time to see what a f**king menace he is, no way he'll get re-elected." But he was. Then came Hillary. As a NYS resident I can tell you she has done little else but show up where she can have a pair of scissors in her hand and a photographer nearby. She hadn't made any moves toward Pennsylvania Avenue either. Until this week. Then she's balls to the wall and coming out swinging.

My friend said to me (way back then) "Think about this. If what I'm saying is true, we will have had the White House controlled by the same 2 families for 2 decades...twenty years of just 2 families controlling the White House." And I laughed and said..."No waaaaaay!!"

H.W. 4 years
Billy Boy 8 years
Dubya 8 years (unless we luck out)

Total: 20 years
And now it's Hillary's turn.

X-Filed Hammy

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

There Is A House In New Orleans

From NPR:
January 23, 2006 ยท
"The author Kurt Vonnegut has been looking to the future through his writing ever since the publication of his first novel, Player Piano. The story tells of a time when men are displaced by machines in the workplace. Society is reduced to a managing class and a consuming class. His books have often included an element of science fiction, including his most famous work, Slaughterhouse-Five.
As part of the Long View series on
Morning Edition, ( )Vonnegut, 83, looks back with Steve Inskeep at how society has changed in the last 50 years.
Short Hammy excerpt from the audio interview on NPR's website:

Steve Inskeep: "Mr Vonnegut you're fortunate and rare in a way in that more than half a century ago you began writing novels, some of which were classified as science fiction or seemed to be a kind of cock-eyed forecast of the future; and then you've had time to look back and see if any part of those predictions came true. I'm thinking of your first published novel, Player Piano. You wrote about a world in which things were still being produced but they were being done automatically, so there weren't jobs for most people and they were just given allowances (do I hear Welfare/Medicaid anyone???) and reduced to being nothing but consumers. People didn't exist to do anything except buy consumer products and keep the economy going. Has any part of that turned out to be true do you think?"

Kurt Vonnegut: (Laughing) All of it!! Where have you been??

Vonnegut's latest book, published in 2005, is a series of essays and speeches called A Man Without a Country.

Hm-mm, very interesting isn't it?
Pondering Ham

P.S. I guess Vonneguts too old for them to kill now, in any case he shouldn't be a threat for too much longer...then again if the No Child Left Behind Act keeps working as well as it has been most kids won't be able to read Vonnegut anyway....unless they come out with a video game version of the books....Grand Theft Vonnegut....Battlestar Vonnegut 5....

The 3 Not So Little Pigs

Well Firestarter 5 got me thinking about "The Big 3".
As a daughter of a former GM worker I've kinda had all I can stomach with the pablum spouting going on with GM and now Ford. One thing people need to know how to do is speak "Corporate Lingo". When a corporation says "We have lost (insert absurd dollar amount)." We average people think they started the count at Zero and are now "In the red". No, no, no. They started the dollar count at last years profit margin. So when Ford Motor Company says, "We have lost one Billion dollars." What they really mean is that they only made 2 Billion dollars PROFIT instead of 3 Billion dollars profit. (Verify that at NPR) And when General Motors says "We are losing market share and $1000 per day, and will be bankrupt within three years." What that really means is if they never sell another car or make another dime and just coast off the $25 Billion dollars CASH RESERVE they have in the bank, they will be bankrupt of LIQUID ASSETS in three years time. (Verify that at MSN)

Puts a whole nuther spin on it doesn't it??

What they conveniently leave out is the disgustingly excessive salaries, bonuses, stock options, paid housing, paid cars and other ridiculously lavish perks that the top heavy Executive members AND Board of Directors receive annually - not to mention the stock dividends paid to those who own and hold the company's preferred stock (Oh! It just happens to be the same people!) (FS 5 has some of those figures, the rest are easily found on the internet)

They like to blame their woes on the lowly working stiff, who gets paid about $45 - 52,000 a year gross including their healthcare coverage if they work full-time hours.
They like to blame the unions, too.

However, has anyone noticed Toyota has plants in the US and has the same workers, the same unions, the same healthcare benefits, and still manages to gain market share every year.

Maybe that's because Toyota makes cars people want to buy, or maybe its because Toyota doesn't pay all its many top executives multimillion dollar salaries regardless of performance, or maybe its because Toyota takes competition seriously and didn't dismiss decades of trends showing other car manufacturers gaining market share.

Working in a plant, on an assembly line is a gruelling and shitty job. My father (and a lot of other people) busted his ass, lost his hearing, ruined his back and knees working night shift, evening shift and finally day shifts - day in and day out making cars for thirty years in an ear splittingly loud, greasy, dirty, smelly place that was hot as hell in the summer and cold in the winter. Then every 3 years they had to fight every contract as if it were being written from scratch. The company would sit down and "negotiate" every contract by saying "Were losing money. You need to take pay cuts and cut benefits or we are closing/laying off/moving to Mexico." When the union would point out that the Big Guys still got their bonuses the answer would be "We need to give them that money in order to retain them for their expertise." This was in the 70's and amazingly the tune hasn't change much, only now it's moving to China.

American car companies know how to do only one thing well, line the pockets of the top people - including Board Members and Preferred Stock Holders. They know how to lobby Politicians and keep greasing the wheels of Washington. They consistently crank out big gas guzzling pigs year after year, the quality is poor and the designs are stagnant. The last person in the American auto industry that had an innovative idea was John "I wanna be a coke dealer" Delorean. The "Big 3" have ignored the rise of foreign auto makers (and even laughed at their efforts at one point in time) to their detriment. They have failed to use technology for much more than CD players and seat positioning. Ford still makes cars that have crank windows as a standard part of a package.

Not one single car manufactuer has made use of developing technology to reduce gas consumption to a significant degree and not one has utilized any reasonable design ability to alter the internal combustion engine in order to make it possible for a car to run on something else. The internal combustion engine design is a century old technology. We have the ability to run cars off something else, but who wants to do that when most of the top political families (not to mention many of the fabulously wealthy) make their money off petroleum?

I hate to rip the blinders off anyone, but the truth is out there...and it ain't coming from the mouths of the spin doctors at GM and Ford.

But then's just my onion pi.....

Spin Doctored Out Hammy

One little P.S. on's nice that they blame the healthcare plans of the retirees for all their woes as well, what they fail to mention is contract after contract the workers traded off wage increases in order to "buy" those healthcare benefits after retirement. To say the company executives (true quote) "failed to calculate those future costs" makes me wonder what the hell kind of "experts" they have running that show, not to mention the accountants whose job it is to do that very thing. It's also nice that once the workers have fulfilled their end of the deal (i.e. slaved their butts off for thirty years, and spent their youth and health in the process) that the company can now say "Oh, we can't hold up our end of that deal...sorry!" That's shit in my opinion. One caveat - yes, I agree we need a national healthcare plan...but that's a whole nuther blog post and that has nothing to do with this particular smoke and mirror show.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Archie's Birthday Party

This week "Archie" celebrated his birthday. We celebrated in shifts, in order to separate the "germie" family members (The Ham-ster family) from the "Non-germie" family members (everyone else).

Archie and Edith just had their third (Yes, third) toilet replaced earlier in the week. To be fair, they do have three bathrooms in the house. But there is something very weird about this family and toilets....anyway, Edith had to find another plumber, because she permanently pissed off the one we had been using. So, as we were polishing off the birthday cake and ice cream, Archie starts telling us how offended he was that the plumber who came over had this big-time butt crack showing. Being that Nukie and I were both at the same table, and both just happen to have a blog...we just jumped right in on this conversation:

Archie: "...and I couldn't believe that this guy had this crack showing, and right there with the kids and all, I don't think were going to call him back."

Hammy: "You mean, that isn't part of the code?? I thought they had to have a butt crack showing? At least they do if they're refridgerator repair men. I'm not sure about washer and dryer repair men, though."

Edith: "Well, he was definitely better than that other plumber that came first. He looked like he was HOMELESS, and he SMELLED."

Archie: "Yeah, but he sure knew his plumbing."

Edith: "He didn't even WASH his HANDS when he finished. He left with them all DIRTY."

Nukie: "Well, maybe he was going to wipe them off on the car upholstery."

Hammy: "So I take it ya Didn't shake good-bye, then huh?"

Nukie: "Well, I guess ya gotta decide if ya want The Butt Crack Guy or the The Homeless Smelly Guy."

Hammy: "If ya want a clean plumber with pants that fit ya have ta pay extra for that I guess..."

Archie: (Laughing) "Yeah, yeah...I guess so."

I decided not to mention that the plumber Edith managed to permanently piss off had pants that fit just fine and he washed...his only problem was he drank ....and was somewhat unreliable....and kept changing what he charged ya for services rendered....ahem.

Anyway, I thought Nuke would jump all over this one, but maybe he's reached his quota for toilet stories from the homefront. So, as the saying goes "Never waste a good blog story." (I made that up, there is no saying like that....but there should be.)


Back from the dead...

Well, the kids flu bug caught me...yuk! I'm usually pretty resiliant but every once in a while I take a hit. A couple of things I noticed whilst being ill:

1. Mom's are necessary in order to keep the shorter and younger members of the household from recreating the Island in The Lord of the Flies.

2. A sick parent housed with well children is a far worse torture than the CIA, KBG or any Terrorist organization will ever, ever devise.

3. When you are ill, none of the shit around the house/work/rest of the world goes just waits for you to return.

4. Not even coffee or chocolate tastes good when you are sick.

5. Puking is no fun, but neither is diarrhea.

Green Eggs and Ham

Friday, January 20, 2006

For WDKY: Romance

First time he kissed me, he but only kissed
the fingers of this hand wherewith I write;
and ever since, it grew more clean and white,
slow to world-greetings, quick with its "Oh, list",
when the angels speak. A ring of amethyst
I could not wear here, plainer to my sight,
than that first kiss. The second passed in height
the first, and sought the forehead, and half missed,
half falling on the hair. O beyond meed!
That was the chrism of love, which love's own crown,
with sanctifying sweetness, did precede.
The third upon my lips was folded down
in perfect, purple state; since when indeed,
I have been proud and said, "My love, my own."
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning
Wish it were my work, but it's not.
P.S. To people who know what I look like, No, the picture is not's John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
...And "meed" means reward or case yer wondering and yer not inclined to get a dictionary and look it up...
Romantic Hammy

Those Yahoo's!

Well, it doesn't surprise me that the Bush government is trying to subpoena private internet search records (I figured it was just a matter of time). What does surprise me is that America Online, Yahoo and Microsoft turned their records over without so much as a fuss. Google, on the other hand, said "No." (Yeah, Google!)

George's buddy, Alberto Gonzales, who unfortunately for us just happens to be our relatively new Attorney General of the United States is pursuing these requests for database records.

Ari Schwartz (of the Center for Democracy and Technology) said the case is a wake-up call to all internet users that "information was being collected on them all the time and was stored indefinitely."

Ya think I should be more subtle when I do a search for photo's of King George using the search terms "Satan's Spawn" or "Tool of the Puppet Master Cheney"??

Just as an experiment I went through the entire alphabet on the Google search bar, one letter at a time, and was more than a little disturbed to see searches I had made over two years ago "pop up" in the window, just by putting in one letter of the alphabet.

Not to be paranoid, but I don't trust the bastards. Never have, never will. I'm also not happy to see the length of time those databases stay in effect.
The Bush administration seems to have no problems with chipping away at privacy a little at a time under the disguise of "patriotism" or some other "public good". Fine, until the day comes when they haul you out of your house in the middle of the night. I would laugh at that last line - except I know somewhere on this globe that very thing is taking place as we speak - and it's not always being done by "the other guys".

Anyway, Massachusetts Rep. Edward Markey is planning on introducing a bill that would prohibit long term storage of personally identifiable information from internet searches. If your so inclined, and ya tend to agree, ya might want to drop him a line in support of that proposal.

But as's just my onion pi.....

P.S. Has anyone else noticed the Spellchecker on this blog site is damn near useless???

Bush-whacked Ham

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Gone Fishin' (sort of)

Bad week at the Hammy household...sick kids!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The L, W & W...

Yesterday I finally went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I have to say it's been a few decades since I read that story, but the movie was fantabulous! (Aside from the fact we were sitting in front of the Loud Family, and their kid kept kicking the back of my seat! Grr-rrr-rr....) But that aside, the movie rocked! The characters were very well done, both human and otherwise. And that Witch! Man, was she Eeeeeevil... (reminds me of a boss I once had...).
Surprisingly Hollywood hasn't ruined the crap out of the storyline either!!
The computer graphics weren't over the top, the children's casting was spot on, the scenery was realistic in it's fantastical approach, and the story moved along nicely, not to mention a deliciously Good and Evil storyline.

What I love most about movies like this is that Good triumphs over Evil. And that's how I like things to be. (Warning: this may be a bit of a spoiler if you haven't seen the movie...) At the part where Aslan appears on the steps, death conquered, his resurrected self restored to full glory with the blazing sun shining behind him, I found myself sitting in the theater with tears streaming down my face. (Fortunately it was dark and the seats were high).

I'm sure my Christ archetype was being tapped into. Lewis was considered a Christian writer, so the allegory throughout the movie was pretty difficult to miss, but for me that is what made it so great. (What a great alternative way to illustrate the story of redemption.) Some say the seven books of the Chronicles actually correlate one book with each of the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony and sloth).
The L, W & W presumably touches upon the sin of gluttony, as the Turkish Delight ensnares Edmond into the service of the Witch.
Edmond was an "everyman" type of character. A little bit selfish, a little bit jealous, a little bit self serving. While he was not evil, for a while his acts unwittingly allowed evil to flourish nonetheless.

I don't know all the in's and out's of religious dogmas, all I know, is in the end Good will triumph over Evil.
I don't know when, and I guess I really don't know how. But at that moment, in the Regal theater, sitting in front of little Katie-kick-the-seat-in-front-of-me and in between my popcorn stuffed, M&M laced children; at that moment that the resurrected Aslan appeared on the steps - As I sat there tear streaked, I knew in my heart that one day all of this grinding pervasive Evil was doomed to fall. And it will happen whether or not I'm here to see that day. Just like the White Witch of Narnia lost her reign, no Evil has the ability to outlast Good. That's the hope that fuels me. And movies like this fuel that hope.

But it's just my Onion pi............

Turkishly Delighted Hammy

Friday, January 13, 2006


I am dull, really. But here goes:

4 Jobs I have had

  1. Nurse
  2. Skip tracer
  3. Bartender
  4. Baker (As in a Bakery, LOL)
  5. I was once hired as a Playboy Bunny (in the old days) but Chickened Out before I started. Actually, I was afraid my Father would Kill Me!!! (The tail was cute though.)

4 Places I have lived

  1. Where I am Now (The Queen City in The Empire State)
  2. Ditto
  3. Ditto
  4. Ditto (I told You I was Dull)

4 Tv Shows I like

(Yer really gonna hate me now, I don't watch TV...But if I do...)

  1. PBS Mystery
  2. Almost Anything on the History Channel
  3. An Occasional Retro TV Show (To Relive My Youth)
  4. An Occasional TV Show on the Fly When I Need to Let My Brain Melt A Little.

4 Places I have Gone To On Vacation

  1. Toronto, Canada
  2. San Francisco, California
  3. Cincinnati, Ohio (For the Summer Opera)
  4. Tijuana (Where I caught Montezuma's Revenge)

4 Web Sites I Visit Daily

  1. "The Blogs"
  2. Google News
  3. My UB
  4. My Bank (Keep track of all the robbing Peter to pay Paul)

4 Favorite Foods

  1. Chocolate
  2. Coffee (I'm Counting it Anyway)
  3. Chicken
  4. Pasta (Well, wadja expect???)

4 Places I would Like to be Right Now

  1. In a certain person's arms
  2. London
  3. Italy
  4. Baltimore, MD (To See Queen Snarfetta)

4 People I don't Like

  1. Wow! Most of Washington, D.C.
  2. Paris Hilton
  3. Martha Stewart
  4. Brangelina

I am going to tag Nukie, WDKY, Queen Snarfetta (You can answer in My Comment section), Chuckster and Runningman. (If they will consent to answer).

Tagged Hammy

See Ya'll after the Weekend

Viva La Difference!

One thing I have definitely noticed since starting this blog, and cruising around checking out other peoples sites: men and women are very, very different. Not that I didn't know that before, but the internet has a way of really bringing that to the forefront.


Thursday, January 12, 2006

Hammy Fact #1

Hi! I am ridiculously busy today so this is going to be a shorty.

Ham Fact: I once had a boss SOOOO EVIL that I used to sprinkle myself with Holy Water before going in for my annual review. (Word.)

Ham On The Run
(At least I'm not Ham With The Runs...)

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

In Case Yer Wondering Why Yer Gas Bills Are So High....

Today's blog post was prompted by the NPR morning news story about the Securities and Exchange Commission which is considering new rules on divulging executive pay. A little "blurby" mentioned that Exxons No. 1 man, Lee R. Raymond, was earning $80 Million dollars in cash and "other incentives" - like stock options (and all those other little ways the rich have of adding to their net worth while hiding it from the IRS). And those figures were from 2004. Raymond ranked 7th on the 2004 list of highest paid CEO's. (That's 7th people....) Of course, that was all this Ham-ster had to hear, as I was hauling my keester out of bed this morning.

So, I did a little math. $80 Mill would gross $1,538,461.54 per week. Meaning he would be earning $307,692.30 a day, or $38,461.54 an hour.

What this means, is that when Raymond takes a shit at work, let's say the entire process takes 15 minutes...He earns $9,615.38 while he takes that corporate crap. Not too shabby for wiping yer ass.

I wonder what the No. 1 guy earns while he takes a dump?

On last month's fuel bill I wrote "You bloodsucking bastards!" across it, before stuffing it in the envelope along with my extortion money.
Childish? Oh, bet.
Did it make me feel better? Oh, bet.
Justified?'s just my onion pi, bet.

Pork Fried Ham

(P.S. Hope the link works. I'm moving through this techie world a little at a time here people, so cut me some slack.)

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I'd like to nominate...

What's worse than having George Dubya in office?? Having George Dunderhead excrete two Supreme Court Justices prior to leaving office. Sigh. Two. That's TWO! As if John Roberts wasn't bad enough, now we have Sam Alito going through the Senatorial dog and pony show. Sam is so conservative He makes Ronald Reagan (his old boss) look like a radical leftist.

Well ladies, we should be pregnant, barefoot and back in the kitchen any day now. (Not a single word Nukie...not one single word!) But we'll be in good company because Sam doesn't like criminal defendants, foreign nationals, consumers or employees either.

Christ! Rehnquist stayed on the bench until he was practically embalmed, and O' of the only MODERATE (not to mention the only female) justices we have had on the bench in the last twenty years is retiring at 75 years old.

All I can say is....Filibuster the shit out of him!

Well, #2 on Runningman's Top Ten list says "Never bring a problem to a supervisor without a solution to solve it." So, I'm submitting MY nominees for Supreme Court Justice. In light of the last appointed VERY conservative Justice Roberts, I have picked those whom I feel will moderate the balance. I have three in mind. Surely one of them will do....


Monday, January 09, 2006

Today; Part 2

Well the old girl is back home. The conversation on the ride back to the dealer's centered around Opera (which was pretty nice) As you can imagine, I don't get much of a chance to "talk opera" with many people. The good news is the bill wasn't too bad, most of it was covered under warranty. However, the bad news is I need an entire new DVD system ordered. (I upgraded to the Parents Sanity Package and ordered the built-in DVD) Sigh. Fortunately it is covered under warranty, but it should be considering the car isn't even 2 years old. The old girl knows I love her, but chances are she's going to be my LAST General Motors car. They just suck! The quality is so bad. I stopped "buying" cars about 5 years ago, and just lease them now. The quality is so poor that I just don't want to "own" the problem, I prefer to "rent" the problem temporarily.

On the way back I passed Barnes and Noble. A place which houses 3 of my very favorite Hammy things under one roof: Coffee, Chocolate and Books. Since the car is custom programmed to drive toward any one of those three things the old girl brought me right to the front door as expected. Besides, I needed to work on New Year's Resolution #3, the one about eating "good" chocolate and skipping the crappy stuff. So anyway, there I am, purchases in hand, hovering around the check-out area thinking to myself, "Now, how am I going to justify these purchases (New Year's Resolutions aside) that I want to make?" When a man walks by with his big bag of stuff and says to his wife, "Well, this ought to keep me out of trouble for a while." Bingo! From his mouth to my ears.

Truffle Stuffed Hammy
(Ron the Personal Trainer is going to loooove that come Wednesday morning at the Gym....)

Pave paradise and put up a parking lot.

I had the most amazing morning. I had to take the old girl into the dealer to be looked at. (She's not really old,'s a long story) The brakes are doing funny things and the oil needs changing anyway. I usually wait for the car to be finished, and just take something to read with me, but I had come from the gym and forgot to bring something to do. So, I took the shuttle car offered by the service manager, and was driven home by the same guy that shuttled me the last couple of times I had the car in for service. He is a retired chemical engineer from Columbia, and we always manage to have great conversations. This time, as we were leaving the car lot I noticed a bird perched on the wire high above us. I pointed it out to him and he asked me if I knew what it was ( I suspected it was a hawk of some kind, but it looked too small) turns out I was right, he said it was a red-tailed hawk. That got us on the conversation of birds, which is great because I have always harbored a secret desire to become one of those goony, binocular laden, guide book carrying bird watchers. I described some of the birds I have noticed around my house and he knew the names and characteristics of most of them. (I usually get red winged blackbirds, blue jays, morning doves, hummingbirds and geese - that I can easily identify). He asked me if I thought it was strange that a chemical engineer would be interested in nature. I said no, because the chemical world had so much to do with nature and natural elements - even if it just meant maipulating those elements - with good or bad results. The subject kind of segued into the environment as he told me about a trip he had made to inspect an aluminum producing plant that had caused the tops of the nearby trees surrounding it to become burnt by the by-products of the aluminum production. He said as he walked around he thought to himself, something is wrong, something is missing. And then he realized it was the loons. There weren't any. When the tops of the trees broke off and fell into the water, the acid created killed the minnows in the lake. The frogs, who fed off the minnows went next and then the loons and other birds. He said that even though the water was clear - you could see right down to the bottom of the lake - there wasn't a sign of life in it at all. The lake was "dead". He said that from the mid-1980's they had passed legislation that has now helped turn the area around. And some of the life has started to come back into the lake. It's amazing how much damage we can cause. One little tiny break in the chain has such a domino effect. It's easy to think of nature as being hearty, and resiliant, because it is. But it's also a lot more delicate than we realize. Oops, now I'm talking like one of those dreaded "environmentalists"! Anyway, what I find so cool, is everyone has a story if your willing to listen. Everyone has something to say that makes you think or teaches you something - about the world around you, or yourself in some cases. I once read a syndicated columnist from the Orlando Review (? can't recall) write a column stating that anyone who wasn't a person of note (like a lawyer, a journalist, or a university professor) had no business having a blog, and should be ignored. I almost cut out that column to save. She was an idiot. Everyone can teach you something. Buddha's are everywhere - thank God! My favorite bird story he told me, was the one about the "Engineer bird". The male builds a nest by crossing two shafts of a tall plant together and padding the bottom with colorful feathers and objects. Then if a female walks through the nest (that is - she approves) she's his.
The red-tail hawk apparently offers a fresh kill to a female he has his eye on. If she takes it from him, then their a pair. Kind of cool, huh? What a fun morning. I hope the old girl is doing just as well. And I hope the bill (and I don't mean a bird bill) isn't a hair-raiser.

Pensive Ham

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Just a slice of pi

All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school.
And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow.
Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth.
And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part.
The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history,Is second childishness and mere oblivion,Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Fortunate Son

Some Folks are Born Made to Wave the Flag,
Ooo they're Red, White and Blue,
And When the Band Plays "Hail To The Chief",
Ooo they Point the Canon at You, Lord.
Well, It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me
I Ain't No Senator's Son, Son.
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me,
I Ain't No Fortunate One.
Some Folks are Born, Silver Spoon in Hand.
Lawd, Don't They Help Themselves, Ya'll.
But When the Tax Man Comes to the Door,
Lawd, the House Look Like a Rummage Sale.
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me,
I Ain't No Millionaires Son, No, No.
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me,
I Ain't No Fortunate One.
Some Folks Inherit Star Spankled Eyes,
Ooo they Send You Down to War.
And When You Ask Them, "How Much Should We Give?"
Ooo, they Only Answer, More, More More.
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me.
I Ain't No Fortunate One.
It Ain't Me, It Ain't Me,
I Ain't No Fortunate Son.
-John Fogarty
I hope ya'll enjoy this one as much as I do!
See Ya After the Week-end.
Very Smiling Hammy

Not Again, Pat!

Warning: This post is about "God", so some of you might just want to turn around and leave now. For those of you who wish to stay, I'm just making a notation that I use the terms "God" and "He" because it makes it easier to describe a concept. I need to refer to this "Divine Mass of Energy and Intelligent Existence" as something - and the term "God" works well enough for me.
However, the "He" thing is just because I need a pronoun and we live in a patriarchal society. I really don't believe "God" can really be "limited" by something as crazy as a gender. If you're OK with this...then proceed. - Hammy.

Well, you wouldn't think it was possible to do, but I hear Pat Robertson has topped the "Hugo Chavez assassination Request" comment, made one August on his TV program "The 700 Club" . His current comment is about Ariel Sharon's hemorrhagic stroke being "divine punishment for dividing God's land."
Woo. People like him just make me shudder. What a crass, insensitive and stupid thing to say. Not to mention incendiary, anti-Semitic and cruel. (What an ignorant ass.) In the past, he had referred to Sharon as "a very tender-hearted man and a good friend." Jeez. With friends like that who needs enemies? I don't see much difference between this action and the actions of those who celebrated the deaths and destruction of the Twin Towers. They believed that event was also God's "divine retribution" on the Great Satan that is the United States.

Ya know, when I first started this blog, I figured I was going to comment on things that were mostly political. I hadn't really made up my mind about whether or not to comment about "religious issues" because I know there are so many fruity cakes out there; with a Bible propped in one hand (verse at the ready) and and a (figurative, or sometimes literal) gun in the other hand. Just a blastin' away. Trying to "make their point" all over the place. Using a Bible like a weapon - just waiting to tear somebody "less holy" apart. Flinging verses all over the place like throwing knives. I have known many of these people in the past and they are as obtuse and retrograde as they come.

My ex used to say, "There is none so blind as those who will not see." And they're all so sure they have the answers. The privileged few. If you try to tell them any different - about anything - then your branded with a whole host of names they use (much like "environmentalist" is used to discredit, slander and marginalize anyone who cares about the water they drink and the air they breathe). This way, none of them will have to open their minds enough to actually THINK about what is being said. They can leave their minds snapped shut - tighter than a misers wallet. Like the Bad Guest at a party, they suddenly decide they have the right to start limiting who gets in and who doesn't, act like they own the place, and are obnoxious as all hell.

I once heard a preacher say "Religion" is man's attempt at pulling God down, stuffing Him in a compartment (never mind about all those parts that don't fit in very well - we can just leave those out), slapping a label on the outside of it and saying "This is what God is. This is what God says. This is what God likes and doesn't like, and I have the answers and if you say or think otherwise - then you don't know God." (Personally, I don't think anyone with two hands and two feet is capable of taking on that kind of job.) "Spirituality", however, is man's attempt to reach out and touch the Divine.

I always liked that. I wish I could remember who said it, so as to give them credit, but I refer back to it often when I have the rare, but unpleasant occasion of dealing with "religious" people.

I always felt or thought, that "God" or whatever..."Something"...existed, and I decided I wanted to know what that thing was - without anyone defining it for me. So, I started looking for God.

To make a long story short, basically I found that if I looked...I found Him, and I found Him in many places. Whether I sat in a "Church" a "Cathedral" a "Synagogue" or a "Temple"..."He" was there...In all of them. I'm not one of those people who is so smugly sure I have "The Answer", have a bead on "God" and a good idea of whose going to the nice place or the nasty place or any other place. I know there are plenty of people out there who are quite sure they have all that information...and more. All I know is if I looked for "Him"...He was there. I don't pretend to have the answers, but I figured if God doesn't need to be limited by labels, then why should I. So, if anyone really needs to slap a label on me I tell 'em I'm a Born Again Roman Catholic Jewish Buddhist. And let them figure it out.

I decided that God's vest has many pockets. And that's kind of where I leave it. God is a concept that is way too big for me (or anyone else, really) to crunch down into nice little easy sound bites. I don't know what God is. I don't know what God wants, or thinks or who's invited to the party, or even if there is a party. How do I know? I do know God is there; inside me and outside me, and all around me. I know God loves me, I know God laughs at me (I think He really gets a kick out of old Hammy sometimes), I know God protects me, I know God guides me, I know God waits for seek Him out and when I do God is there. He's always been there. There is nothing any one of these goofballs can say or do to shake me from the truth that God loves me (and everyone else by the way) and He is happy with me, and if He isn't....He'll tell me. He always does. He always has. And not with strokes and evilness, either.

I know that God isn't out there setting trip wires or landmines for me, He's not whipping out a scorecard every five minutes - adding and deducting points throughout the day, God isn't perched there waiting to pounce on me when I "fuck up", God isn't sitting around cooking up mad evil schemes every day, God isn't insecure, hateful and neurotic like many of the people who claim to be following Him are. And I know God sure as shit isn't "talking" to all the people who claim to be "talking" to Him!

I don't know this god of Hate; this vengeful, cruel and sadistic thing that Pat Robertson calls "God". I don't know this god who strikes people down with strokes, and waits like a big Cosmic Flyswatter, just waiting for one false move. If Pat Robertson's God has some answers for the Middle East then why doesn't He speak up? They're trying their best to create some kind of workable peace in an area filled with fanatics, mercenaries and terrorists and could sure use some constructive and useful help. Christ! Who wants to believe in a God that keeps his mouth shut until you do something wrong and then whacks the crap out of you? What a psycho version of God!
All I can say, is if that version of God is the real thing, and if all of "those people" are going to be packing Heaven like sardines...Then they can have it.
Because it sounds like Hell to me.

But...It's just my onion pi.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I Ain't Florence Nightingale

Well my "Need Ta Git It Off Ma Chest" blog post has created quite a furor with old WayneDawg and the ladies, Kimmyk and Queen Snarfetta! I just love it when ya'll come to my aid! It's touching, ladies! But I'm cool. Wayne is no different from a lot of people who aren't in the healthcare field. The "image" of the stereotypical Nurse gets crossed with other archetypes like your Mom and your Kindergarten Teacher. (Or crossed with fantasies of the Soap Opera Nurse Hottie) Wayne just hadn't had his expectations met, and it threw him a little. Wayne, my friend. Ya'll got a little confused. You mistook venting for job dislike, or job burnout. No, no no, my friend. It is precisely that venting (and I'll grant you that a blog is a very public venting place) that enables me to look those people in the eye, take care of them with real and true compassion, and never let them feel they are a pain in my rear end. I am glad for you that you are happy in yer job. I can't imagine what ya'll do, that ya never have a bad day, never git pissed or feel like singing Twisted Sister's song "We're Not Gonna Take It" while you jump up and down on the desk top, swing from the fluorescent lighting - jump down, moon yer boss and run from the place screaming "Take This Job and Shove It, I Ain't Workin' Here No More". So whatever it is you have found - Well, God-Allah-Jesus-Jehovah-Buddha-Shiva Bless ya man! I love what I do. I don't love it every minute of the Goddarn day, every day of the year. But I feel that way about my kids, too! Shit. (Somedays ya wish ya could send 'em back!)

Wayne, Obviously yer not a Cop, a Social Worker, a Psychiatrist, a Teacher, a Paramedic or a whole host of other jobs that take incredible amounts of heart and soul to perform day in and day out, with a lot of bureaucratic red tape, bullshit, disappointment, fatigue and heartache. Jobs that require "Black Humor" (no, I'm not talking about color or race here) to get through it, jobs that require venting and sometimes some serious tears.

I have done this for 13 years my friend. This is my 2nd career. I have a B.S. in Business. I don't HAVE to do this. I want to do this. I want to do this because I CAN. And not everyone CAN my friend. It has nuthin' to do with the sheepskin. Plenty of people start off in this field - and leave it real quick. And it has nothing to do with the mounds of paperwork, the crappy hours, the swing shifts, the holidays you're required to work, the regulatory commissions you have to ass kiss, the bosses who never say thank you for a job well done (but are the first to shit on yer head if something is wrong), the co-workers who take their frustration and stress out on you, the Psycho Doctor's who scream rant and rave - throw things at you and talk to you like ya just arrived off the banana boat, the wacko sue-happy families who drive you crazy. No, not even all that can take the polish off ma white shoes.

It's because they can't stand there and hold the hand of a sobbing mother who has just found out her 20 year old daughter was driving and hit a tree - smashing her skull and dying instantly; they can't wash the bucket of blood off her body without wanting to vomit, and can't try to tape her head so that her brains don't fall out when the family looks at her. They can't take the 10 month old baby who was beaten to death by the mom's boyfriend while she was out shopping. They can't take the woman who found out she had breast cancer the day she delivered her first baby at another hospital, and is now in your hospital - post-partum, waiting to start chemotherapy and radiation; crying her eyes out because she saw her newborn for only twenty minutes before being transported. They can't take the 21 year old leukemia patient whose first - and last - words after coming off the ventilator were "I love you, Mom". They can't take performing the 2 hour code on the 11 year old that died in the school swimming pool - continuing to code a dead child because his mother is collapsed on the floor begging you to please not give up. They can't take the 18 year old who overdosed because she didn't get an A in one of her classes, and the 67 year old end stage lung cancer patient who won't let go of your hand because he is so afraid to die alone. And believe me, I could go on.

I have every card, every pot holder, every ornament, every drawing, note and letter every patient has ever given me in my career.
I vent because I have to. I vent so as to not take it out on my kids when I come home tired and defeated. Wondering why the hell I do what I do, why I pull out of myself what I pull out of myself, to give to other people, because they need help.

I have been bitten, kicked, scratched, spit on, vomited on, shit on, pissed on, had a psych patient pull me up by the pen around my neck (which is why I don't wear THOSE anymore) one foot off the ground and threaten to kill me (and almost did), had my chin split open by a sucker punch, been sworn at, and then some.

But I'll tell ya one thing there Wayne. When the heat is on - nobody moves faster, has better instincts, cares more and watches more closely than me. And if you or yer loved one is coming in feet first - ya'll better hope ya get me as yer Nurse. Because I'm no Florence Nightingale. Baby, I'm better.

Grade Fucking A Ham!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

12 Dead Men

Before the next big news story pushes this tragedy out of the way, I just gotta write this out. Ya know, I just can't seem to stop thinking about those 13 miners in West Virginia. God, I can't imagine dying that way! Not only does it burn my ass that the Sago mine was allowed to operate with so many serious, serious violations (208 the previous year and over 40 in December 2005 alone), but all the little "side stories" that have come out around this event have frosted me too. The violations this mine had were all related to inadequate ventilation, which caused buildups of dangerous, flammable and non-breathable gases. NPR's morning show had one short interview with one of the trapped miner's wives in which she said her husband had told the people in charge at the International Coal Group, the mine was building up Methane and Carbon Monoxide gases a full week prior to the explosion. I heard that interview once (at 6 AM) and (interestingly enough) it wasn't repeated as the rest of the stories were repeated later in the day. I also read (On WBFO's website) an interview with a woman in W.V. who was trying to stop the form of strip mining this company was doing - and was "branded" as an "environmentalist" (Read that as a "Trouble making commie pinko tree hugging wacko"). It was an interesting read because the lady was basically a local yokle who really was just pissed off that her property was turning into a polluted pile of shit right in front of her eyes. She was no more an "environmentalist" than George Bush is - but branding her as one is a nice way to discredit anything she has to say. So anyway, in the article she says said "They're calling me an "environmentalist", I don't know, but if someone who is interested in drinking clean water and breathing fresh air is an "environmentalist" then I guess I am one".

By the way. The form of mining this company does is strip mining, which basically cuts the top of a mountain off, and digs the coal out, leaving a gutted mess of mud behind, that excellerates erosion and causes super polluted run-off into the streams and waterways. But when you live in Appelachia, and your dirt, dirt poor with no options for work, education or a way out of that hell, well...what are you going to do? What's a little Black Lung in twenty years when you and your family are starving TODAY?

So what's the point of this blog? Well, the top ass burner of this whole thing is the fact the company or state government or whomever puts out these "official press statements" keeps claming "They have no idea what caused the explosion" and "This needs to be investigated further" I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, and I damn sure don't know nuthin' about mining...and I ain't anywhere near West Virginia...but how's about this for an educated guess..."Hey, assholes. Maybe it has something to do with that buildup of FLAMMABLE GAS?? Ya think?" Shit.
What is a man's life worth? Not a whole hell of a lot I guess, and 12 men's lives ain't worth much either. Maybe the company will send the widows a Turkey at Thanksgiving, or a Ham next Christmas. And the politicians will keep turning a blind eye, and the International Coal Group will keep stripping the shit out of West Virginia while they all line their pockets and stuff their bank accounts. Business as usual.

I wonder if any of those crying statues of the Virgin Mary are puking yet? Cause this sure makes me want to hurl.

Salty Ham

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Capricorn Moon

The Queen sent me a great link today. ( It seems we are now in a Capricorn Moon, which basically means it's a good time to re-establish our balance and take stock of where we have been and where we want to be going. (Hence the probable beginnings of the New Year's Resolution tradition). Just picture a Mountain Goat leaping around on the stony cliffs. "Keeping the Balance" is the focus for this moon cycle and those to come.

The Ham-ster has a Ten Year Plan, of sorts. I started it two years ago. At the end of every year I review it to see how I have done. I was actually pleasantly surprised this year. I did pretty damn good. My goals are divided into Personal (It's all about me!!), House (Things I want or need to do), Kids (self explanatory), Career, and Money (of course that's in there). Briefly, the main goals for 2005 were to start a regular exercise program, put in some landscaping, not kill the kids, get 5 classes in toward my advanced degree and reduce debt. And I actually did it. (With a little help from Ron the Personal Trainer, Brian the Landscaper, Dr. Bo, the Pediatrician, Queen Snarfetta, and a shredder that shreds plastic credit cards.)
So with this new Capricorn Moon I have decided This year's goals are: Eliminate all plastic debt and Increase my savings, Get in 5 more classes, Improve my Diet (more vegetables), Meet Mr. Ham and Paint the inside of the House.(And of course, don't kill the kids).

If I could set goals for the United States I would like to see us:
Raise the Minimum Wage to a livable and decent standard.
Put a Basic Health Care plan in place for ALL American Citizens.
Stop the mistreatment and exploitation of Illegal Migrant Workers.
Fund and find Viable alternatives for Petroleum and Carbon Fuel.
Honor the Pensions and benefits that were promised to Workers.
Push George Bush and all his Evil cronies out on a Melting Ice Floe.
Get our Military back Home.

Sigh. If I ran the world....
But, I do run my world (somewhat) so tomorrow morning, it's back to the gym and Thursday, my new 2nd job...School starts up in two weeks...and the kids are back to school (thank God).

As long as there's Coffee and Chocolate all is right with the world (or at least there is hope.)

So, what are you going to do with your Capricorn Moon?


Monday, January 02, 2006

Need ta git it off ma chest!

Warning: It's PMS week, the kids are STILL off from school AND I haven't had my coffee yet, so if anyone is going to be easily offended get the F**k out now!

Man, I am so freaking pissed off today. I worked the entire New Year's weekend in the ER and let me tell you something, there are a lot of fucking losers out there!

All weekend I wanted to scream:
"Yes asshole, if you drink too much alcohol you are going to feel NAUSEOUS and have a HEADACHE and FEEL LIKE CRAP it's called a fucking HANGOVER shithead! Take some aspirin and sleep it off like the rest of us did!!"

And if I get another 400 pounder who complains about back pain or another 2 pack smoker who complains about being short of breath I am going to scream and pound the living crap right out of them. When the hell is some doctor going to have the courage to say that lugging 400 pounds around IS going to make yer back hurt and smoking 2 packs a day IS going to make ya short of breath - and no we don't need to blood test, x-ray and cat scan the shit out of you to figure that out. Lose some fucking weight, stop smoking, and while yer at it get neutered because - your an asshole and the gene pool is already suffering! And before ya'll get offended let me tell you this, if you are one of the (seemingly) few fucking people that DO actually WORK - then all of this is on your dime. Take out your paystub next time your boss hands it to you and take a peek at that little section called FICA - thats what pays these losers to stay home and drink too much, eat too much, smoke too much, fuck too much and then come in by ambulance for the million dollar work-up and go home by MEDICAID (read FREE) cab and do it all over again, while you haul yer keester back and forth to work to pay for it all.

And will somebody explain this to me PLEEZE, how in the hell do people come to this country - not speak a single fucking word of English, have no money, no relatives, NO FUCKING JOB, and get medicaid when 42 million American fucking citizens work WITHOUT PAID HEALTHCARE?? Someone please answer that one for me because I for one can't fucking come up with one single solitary reason why this atrocity would occur.

Fucking A!
What shit!!

Posted by Fried Fucking Hamsteak